Adoption Part 3

So I really should have written this sooner because I am forgetting more each day! The next part of the story is the best part!! I got a call when I was lost in Memphis trying to find the highway to Tupelo. On one hand the news that Kareena was born was great but I remember felling really disappointed that I had missed it.

I did drive the rest of the way a bit less anxious though. When I arrived at the hospital sometime close to midnight I was in a daze of adrenaline, junk food and pure nervousness. I had no idea what to expect when I walked in the hospital room. Kareena's birthmom was such a pleasant person to be with! I had heard that from folks but meeting her just confirmed it. We chatted a bit and I was pretty indisicive about whether I wanted to stay until 3 am to see Kareena or to get a little sleep and see her in the morning. I ended up staying until 4 but holding her was amazing. Again, I was completely out of my mind from lack of sleep etc. but I am glad I stayed. Leaving the hospital my brain was in such a fog. There was a train that I had to stop for and I almost fell asleep in the car! I finally headed back to the hotel for a few hours but was totally unable to sleep.

The next day I went back to the hotel to spend some time with Kareena and her birthmom. We had the typical busy first day of a baby's life. She was in and out. We both took turns feeding her. Again, I was amazed at her bm's demeanor. We had such a good time together! We found out we enjoyed the same types of food, the same tv show and movies. All three of my bio kids were pretty good sized kids at birth so to hold a little 5 pounder was fun. When Justin and the kids finally arrived I took a huge sigh of relief. Spending that first day alone had been great but I felt more and more like part of me was missing. The kids LOVED seeing Kareena and meeting everyone. K's bm really enjoyed the kids, too!

The day we got to take Kareena with us was sort of awkward. On one hand I felt like she was mine already but there was still this pervading feeling of unease and nervousness that her bm could change her mind at any time. I think the strangest feeling of that day was watching her bm say goodbye to her. There was a mixture of jealous protectiveness and saddness but also joy for us. Walking out of the hospital with her felt strange, too. We spent the next few days getting to know Kareena, finding out she cried a bit more than we were used to and making plans for the coming days. Part 4 coming soon.