Aren't Friends Great?!

What a day! I have been tested recently. God has been pressing on me who will I turn to when I am struggling. I have not been faithful, yet He is! He sends good friends to call and/or to visit in order to encourage and lift up. Thank you Lord! Thank you friends!!

My friend Lori from Texas was here today. How fun to see her. To chat about our families. Our college years were almost 10 years ago yet it seems like yesterday we were having dinner outside Naz - 5:00 - don't be late! I hope we can all get together next year! Thinking back to those years makes me think about another great Sarah Groves song - "What I thought I wanted". We had so many dreams back then. I wonder if we now have what we wanted then. I know that to some point I do, and some things I never expected. I hope even if there are unexpected things we still trust in a loving God. Boy, that sounds trite. I don't mean to. There certainly have been times when I haven't wanted what God brought but not too many times that I have doubted His presence or care. I hope it the same with you.

Taking time to laugh

As I sit here trying to write something profound I am struck by how much I miss by looking for something great, or something better. There has to be something over there that will satisfy...Ahhh! What about what is right before my eyes? I have all that I need and more! I have a great family, a great house - lots of mess - but a great house none the less. Why do we struggle so much with contentment? Any thoughts???

I rarely just make jokes with my kids. I have begun to do that recently and it feels good. Do you know what makes me really laugh? Sad to say it is when any of my kids trips and falls. I always rush to see if they are hurt and then usually lose it laughing. My Hannah is the most prone to do this. Sometimes she turns and just...trips. I am happier just writing this.

A reprieve

Saturday was another struggle to keep my joy intact with the kids. After a great time at a park with friends we spent lots of time cleaning. Never one of my favorite jobs I tackled it with gusto because, well, what else was there to do? Not to mention it was a mess! I was so surprised to find my husband home early and we had a restful time together.

I am always amazed how God takes care of me. He sends friends at just the right moments, through phone calls and play dates. He allows for nap times and times of laughing with my kids to remind me of his goodness and mercy. I don't deserve his love, yet I am overwhelmed when I think about all he forgives me for. Thank you Lord!

This is his "I know I am cute" look.

Exhausted

I have been on my own a lot lately which always leads to trouble. My amazing husband has been teaching a lot so its been me and the kids quite a bit. I know it is temporary and I know there are a lot of women who do the alone thing all the time but that knowledge does not help walking each day, moment by moment trying not to lose my mind. Our rambunctious (I am trying to be positive) three year old has been out of control today. He has so much energy!! No nap, climbing on everything, hungry all day. AHHHHH! I am trying to look into alternative methods of discipline. That sounds so ominous! I just mean trying natural consequences for his crazy behavior.

I spent some wonderful peaceful moments at the library looking at a magazine. That and a well timed phone call from a friend were the highlights of the day. I read in Romans this morning. I am glad that I am beginning to have a little routine of reading the Word and having my coffee in the same chair every day. Now I need to apply what I am reading to the rest of the day!

Travel

We drove to Baraboo this weekend so my husband could to a triathalon. Yep, a triathalon. He and a couple of his college friends competed together. It was thrilling being near the finish line seeing all of the folks struggle yet be so glad that the finish line was near. I would love to do something like that but unfortunately when I have the option of the grande latte or a walk outside I usually choose the latte. So many of my choices are made from my emotions. Sometimes I wish I had the mind of a man. (you know for the logical, non-emotional eating etc.)

Time in the car and more

For all the time I was in the car today I could have gone to Duluth! Thankfully, this is the only day of the week where I do three trips to the kids' school. I should be learning scripture or praying with all that time in the car but I find that I just listen to the radio and try to referee from the front seat.

My three year old son went to his first day of preschool today. I have been so stressed by schedule issues and jury duty (!) that I don't think it registered that he is growing up until now. He had a great time and I think it will be fantastic for him to interact with others and learn to wait in line. That is what I told his teacher's to work on with him. He seriously moans and squaks when he has to wait for anything. Sorry, he's the third child so we didn't remember the camera until we were already there. Hopefully tomorrow for his first official day with out mom and dad.

I wanted to explain a little more why I chose the title I did. Sarah Groves sings about life's disappointments, changes and how we can embrace them and let those circumstances become part of our new story or we can deny them and not grow. Ok, I am also infusing a little Jerry Sitser, too. (A Grace Disguised) In my mind being broken involves (in part) admitting that life has not turned out like you hoped or planned. When we had kids I never imagined doing it without my mom. The hole she left is huge some days and not so big others. Yesterday it was enormous. Having said that, I am grateful too. While life is not going as planned I am a stronger more whole person having lost my mom while being a mom. Ok, enough for now.

More thanks

I forgot to mention that the title comes from a Sarah Groves song. She is an amazing singer, writer and poet. Check her out!

Thanks

As I begin to navigate this strange world of blogging some thanks are needed. I have read, and probably without meaning to, taken some elements from a certain old friend, and a new one. Thanks to you ladies.

Also, it needs to be said that I am not a great writer, so bear with me.